Baghdad Janeane

Big glasses don't equate intelligence
The mascot of the anti-war movement is Janeane Garofalo. Upon hearing Garofalo's pronouncements on Iraq, her manager sputtered, "Ten years in the business and now she's making with the jokes?" When a feminist as strident as Garofalo is defending the Hussein regime, you have to wonder if her newfound sobriety has hit a rough patch. One imagines Saddam Hussein watching Janeane Garofalo on television with more perplexity than satisfaction. Garofalo has said that "dropping bombs on the Iraqis is not going to disarm Saddam." No, it will kill him. That's good enough. Trading in her Gen-X sneer for a nitwit's hysteria, Garofalo warned: "America will pay a very, very high, irrevocable price for this!" The lemon pucker puss said extremist groups will strike us "if we do this war." Things were going just great before we began to "do this war" – that's if you don't count the unpleasantness of Sept. 11. To state the manifestly obvious: Extremist groups are going to hit us eventually anyway. Let's make it a matter of honor and see what they've got.

Rush Limbaugh makes sense? Wha...?
All these celebrities are upset that their uniformed views aren't being taken seriously in the mainstream press. They're mad and they're sad, because they remember a day when they could simply wrap themselves in the respected "anti-war" label and have whatever they said accepted as holy writ. A great example occurred Monday morning on Fox & Friends with guest Janeane Garofalo. She really lit into host Brian Kilmeade - who spent the last few weeks in Kuwait - and Kilmeade hit her right back with some facts she could not combat. Who knows what motivates these people - but man, they can never, ever take tough questions! Garafalo's reaction to all of the Fox challenges was, as it has been on all these shows, to say she's qualified as an expert on this war because she just got satellite TV. Plus, she has those smart glasses. It didn't take long for her to bash Fox and its CEO Roger Ailes - to which I'd ask, "How about the head of CBS sleeping in Clinton's White House?" This is the kind of challenging of celebrities you'd never, ever have seen even ten years ago. This is why I say we shouldn't cower in fear and despair over these celebrities. They're not automatically winning the hearts and minds of the American people, anymore. They're seen as ignorant opportunists, cynically plugging movies and advancing their careers under the guise of being "anti-war." The idea that we "can't win," which they said about Gulf War One and Afghanistan, is just baffling. I would've asked Ms. Garafalo to establish her credibility by telling the viewers what she did to protest Bill Clinton's wars in places like Bosnia, the Sudan, Kosovo - and the firing of more cruise missiles at Iraq (450) than George H. W. Bush did in Gulf War One. Likewise, why was Sheryl Crow - renowned anti-war activist - over visiting the troops with Hillary Clinton in the 90s? Why weren't any of these people anti-war then? We all know the truth. They're just anti-Bush.

Contact Info
If you're a pinko commie you can send fan mail here... For the rest of us, mail bombs, anthrax, etc can be forwarded here: Janeane Garofalo C/O United Talent Agency 9560 Wilshire Blvd. Suite 500 Beverly Hills, CA 90212 USA